Grits and Glamour
by SilverTurtle
Summary: Jessica, after admitting her biggest secret to Janice, is dragged back to the states to confront and woo the oblivious object of her affections.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This one's been stewing for a while, and I've finally gotten around to writing it. Although, I admit, it turned out a little differently than I'd imagined. It transformed as I was writing it, but for the better I hope.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Suite Life or any of the characters from that show. I just felt like turning them into puppets for a bit, watch me make them dance!

**Additional Note:** I figure that Janice and Jessica are around 17 years old. They were with that modeling agency showed in 'Model Behavior' for a year, but were picked up by a larger and more successful agency (one not run by the devil that is Cindy, but could perhaps be owned by Tipton Industries) after leaving Cindy's tutelage. Also, this story will eventually contain a femslash relationship, you have been warned.

*****'*****

**GRITS AND GLAMOUR**

Jessica had been agonizing over this for weeks. Well, more like months…okay, years. She'd been freaking out about this for years but now…now she's finally mustered up the courage to tell the truth. She'd been keeping this to herself for four long, agonizing, terrifying years. Years where she'd been lying to her sister, hiding things, trying to make sure the secret never got out by destroying any evidence and being very careful about what they did together.

But now was the time for all that to change. Jessica couldn't take the strain of deception any longer. If she didn't tell Janice what was going on she'd just explode!

It had been a hard decision to make, finally letting go of this secret. She didn't know how Janice was going to take the news. For all that they're twins and more deeply connected than average siblings, they're certainly not mind readers and it was quite difficult for Jessica to predict how her twin would react. And this is such big news, but Jessica had been so discrete about it that she was fairly certain Janice wouldn't have a clue. But knowing that Janice had no idea only made things worse, it made things uncertain, and it scared Jessica badly. She didn't want to lose Janice, her sister, her best friend. But she had to get it out, no matter the consequences.

She'd decided two weeks ago that it was finally time to come clean. That was easier said than done, naturally. She'd debated when the best time to do it was. She'd been fighting with herself all those years to finally get to this point that now the moment of truth was upon her she had no idea what to say. So she planned a speech and scrapped it. She wrote another one and threw that out, too.

Over and over again she tried to write it out, or even say it out loud just once, and over and over again she met with failure. The words just wouldn't come. Every time she tried to speak a part of the elegant address she'd painstakingly prepared a lump formed in her throat, or her tongue tied itself in knots, or her brain just spontaneously forgot all the pretty words. Silence plagued her every moment.

Finally she wrote a piece that came directly from her heart, one that said everything she needed to say as simply and genuinely as possible. She took her sister out for a day on the town, enjoying sights and shopping and local cuisine until finally taking her back to the apartment they shared with their parents, sitting her down on the couch, and finally saying what she needed to say. Except the words, the beautiful phrases, the heartfelt speeches, the straightforward truths…died in her throat.

She just stared at her sister, mouth gaping and brain stalling, full to bursting of all the tension these last four years had built within her and completely unable to express herself. Coming so far, so close, and not being able to meet her ultimate goal stretched her soul just a tad too far and she snapped.

She broke down completely.

There was no stopping the flood of tears. No soothing the wrenching sobs. No calming the hysterical teen. Though Janice tried she could get no sense out of her wailing sister, so she rubbed her back and muttered comforting nonsense and waited for the storm to pass.

Finally, Jessica seemed to have cried herself out and Janice was ready to get to the bottom of this.

"What was that all about, Jess?"

Jessica, at the end of her rope and exhausted, decided to abandon all her previous plans and just laid everything out in plain words, "I've been so afraid to tell you this, Jan. I've been lying to you, to everyone, for years and I just can't do it anymore. It's destroying me. So, whatever you might think, whatever might happen, I need to tell the truth and I need to tell you first because you're the most important person in my life and I love you and you deserve to know." Jessica took a deep breath and looked her twin directly in the eyes, "Janice, I'm gay."

Janice waited for a moment with a quizzical expression on her face, "Is that what had you so worked up? Don't be silly! Of _course_ you're gay! I've known that for absolutely _ages_!" Janice laughed, "I was afraid it was something serious. Don't scare me like that!"

Jessica was stunned, she spluttered, "Wha-what? You _knew_? How? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Jess, there's only so many times you can stare at Selena Gomez on the telly before I figure out something's going on. Besides, you always look at those _Victoria's Secret_ catalogues for such a long time, but it's clearly not the knickers you're interested in because you've yet to buy a set from there. Honestly." Janice rolled her eyes at her sister and then, compelled to honesty herself, added, "Well, that and I may have read your diary when we were fifteen and seen all those entries about your crush on that cheerleader. But Jess, it was ever so obvious! I didn't suppose I _had_ to say anything. I thought you knew that I knew, and then I found a letter by the waste basket last week and knew you _didn't_ know I knew but thought you'd tell me yourself eventually and you have! And I'm ever so happy for you, Jess."

"You are?" Jess asked softly, "Really?"

"_Really_ really!" Janice replied emphatically, "Jess, how could I not be? You're my sister, and I love you. No matter what."

"Oh, Jan!" Jessica threw herself at her sister and they hugged tightly for a long moment.

When they separated Janice grinned at her twin, "Now then, shall I help you find some girls? I know quite a few who-"

"What? No! I don't need any help," Jessica said indignantly, "besides, there's already someone I-" She cut herself off hoping Janice wouldn't pursue that.

But Janice's interest was piqued, "Oh? Someone you…? You've already got a lady in mind! Tell me, who is she? Do I know her? Is she pretty? Is she famous? Have we worked with her?"

"Slow down, slow down," Jessica laughed as she raised her hands to fend off her sister's torrent of questions. "Yes, I've someone I like rather a lot. You do know her. She's absolutely gorgeous. No, she's not famous and we've never worked with her, but she could be famous someday if she wanted to be."

"Tell me. Everything." Janice demanded, "Who is she?"

"Well, you remember last year when we were aboard the _S.S. Tipton_?" Jessica asked, scooting closer to her sister and lowering her voice conspiratorially.

"Of course," Janice replied, huddling closer, "When we created Woodlander and Zack was there and hunkier than ever. You met her on the ship?" A sudden thought struck Janice, "Don't tell me it was London? Or one of the models, they were quite shallow."

"No, I told you, she isn't famous. London is already famous and those girls were so not my type. I like them a bit smarter than that."

"Well, there was that Addison girl," Janice mused. "She was a bit thin but seemed scrappy, and certainly full of energy. You know, I watched her arm wrestle everyone on the lido deck before that party Zack threw. She made a lifeguard cry."

"It wasn't her," Jessica shook her head, suddenly relieved she hadn't encountered Addison for more than a brief introduction.

"Well, then tell me!" Janice prodded her sister, "Don't keep me in suspense!"

"It was Cody's girlfriend, Bailey," Jessica quietly admitted with a gentle smile.

Janice looked confused, "The one you were fighting with the whole time?"

Jessica rolled her eyes, "We weren't fighting at all. That was all in Cody's head…except for that last one where we pretended to fight just to shut him up. Bailey and I actually hit it off splendidly. She was so sweet, and nice, and smart. And absolutely adorable! Like a puppy you just wanted to cuddle. Oh, you should have heard her giggle. She was ever so enchanting. We had such a nice time together." Jessica emitted a dreamy sigh and smiled, "We were instant friends."

Janice smiled to see her sister so smitten, "So, did anything more than friendly happen?"

"Oh, no! No," Jessica reared back a bit, "Of course not! She was with Cody and I would never do something like that to him. Besides, I doubt she even knew I was interested in her that way."

Not liking the slump Jessica's shoulders had taken when she finished speaking Janice decided something had to be done, "She wasn't available then. You know, I've been talking with Zack quite a bit since then, he tells me Bailey and Cody broke up a little over a month after we left the ship."

"Yes," Jessica replied, "I knew that. Bailey called me shortly after it happened. She had to return home to her family's farm so they split up. She said he started dating some blonde the next week. So far she hasn't dated anyone, she says the boys in her hometown all think too small and she wants to be more than a farmer's wife."

"I see," Janice said, "and you still like her?"

Jessica smiled wistfully, "Very much so."

"Alright," Janice marshaled her thoughts, "What I'm hearing is that the girl you like is completely single and has been for quite some time. The two of you have chatted regularly for the last year and you're still quite taken with her. Correct?"

"Yes," Jessica said slowly, "What of it?"

Janice looked at her sister with an expression that clearly said 'duh! You can't be this foolish!' "What of it? For pity's sake, Jessica, think for a moment. The girl you like, and have liked for over a year, is single. She's _available_. She wants more than the small town life. You're single, you're available, and you live more than the small town life! What are you doing _here_ when you could be out _there_ wooing her?" Janice finished with a dramatic hand gesture towards the open window and flopped ungracefully back into the couch cushions.

"I," Jessica was caught entirely by surprise, "I have no idea. It never even occurred to me…"

Janice sat up and slung her right arm around her twin's shoulders, "Of course it didn't. You may be the smart twin but when it comes to romance you're a bit flat footed." Jessica nudged her sister but didn't protest. "No matter, Jess, that's what I'm for."

Jessica laughed, "And what do you propose I do, oh wise one?"

Janice stood and began pacing, back and forth, with a pensive look on her face. As she continued to move her expression brightened until she stopped and stared at her sister with a fierce grin, "I've got it! Oh, have I got it. We just need you to get near her, right? Well, no problem. I have the perfect idea." Janice shot off up the stairs leaving her sister confused on the couch and suddenly quite worried.

"Jan?" Jessica called, "Janice, what are you thinking? What are you going to do?"

Janice popped her head around the top of the staircase and winked at Jessica, "Fear not, Jess. I've got it all planned out. It's absolutely brilliant! Marvelous! Ha!" She disappeared again.

Jessica wondered what monster she'd just unleashed upon her love life and thought about fretting over Janice's plans, but decided she'd just be relieved she had finally admitted her feelings and her world hadn't ended.

*****'*****

**THE END** of Part 1

**A/N:** I'm evil. I know. I have more in mind (though I hadn't intended this to be a lead-in) but it's still in its infancy. Please review. Let me know if you're interested in seeing how it all turns out.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright, chapter two time.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and my hopes and dreams.

*****'*****

**ONE WEEK LATER**

"Pack your bags, Jess!" Janice said cheerily as she closed her cell phone, "We're going to Kansas!"

"Janice, what did you do?" Jessica asked, watching her sister suspiciously. "Why call the agency? Wouldn't plane tickets have made more sense?"

"Not at all," Janice grinned and sat them both down to explain, "If we'd only gotten plane tickets you wouldn't have had much time. We'd have been called back for a job in short order. That won't happen with what I've planned."

"And what, exactly, is it that you've planned?"

"Well, you know how we're two of the most popular models the agency has and how that gives us quite a bit of pull the agency," she waited for Jessica's nod, "All I had to do was call up the boss with my idea and they made it happen." She leaned back a self satisfied smirk on her face, as if that had explained anything to her sister.

Jessica huffed at Janice's avoidance, "Jan," she said in a tone implying her infinite patience was running low, "What was your idea?"

Janice's smirk turned into a full blown smile and she bounced a little in her seat, "A reality show!"

"What?"

"We," Janice waved a hand between the two of them, "and some other models from our agency, are going to do a reality show. On a farm. In Kansas."

"What? Have you gone mad? How does—what wi—why?" Jessica felt she was missing a key piece of the puzzle. She knew Janice hated even watching reality shows, so her setting one up and planning to be in it was a bit unsettling.

Janice rolled her eyes at her sister, "Because, Jess, we'll be in Kansas for an extended period of time. Several months, in fact. Bailey lives in Kansas. While we're there, in our down time, you can find her and woo her. It's brilliant!"

Jessica paused to think about that for a moment. Being in Kansas for that long would give her a much better chance of finding Bailey and mustering the courage it would take to confess her feelings. But she had no idea where the show was going to be set up, Bailey's home town of Kettlecorn wasn't on any map she had seen (not even Google maps had helped her), for all she knew they'd be on different sides of the state. Not very useful for her purposes. Still, it's an ocean closer to her goal and perhaps, with luck, she'll be able to find Bailey. "When do we leave?"

"Tonight."

Jessica looked aghast at her twin, "Tonight?" Janice nodded. "That's not a lot of time to prepare."

"Please," Janice said, rolling her eyes again, "just toss a few knickers into a suitcase and you'll be good to go. Any more time and you might back out."

"I wouldn't," she started to protest, but she couldn't deny that she probably would talk herself out of going if she had more time, "Fine. Where are we going?"

"I told you, Kansas."

"More specific, Jan."

"I don't know," Janice said standing and beginning to pack, "They didn't tell me."

Jessica sighed. If Jan didn't know there was no way Jess was going to find out before they got there. She resigned herself to that bit of mystery and began packing for herself.

In two hours they'd be on a plane to the states. A seven and a half hour flight to the O'Hare Airport in Chicago, and a shorter one and a half hour flight to the Kansas City International Airport in Missouri, would see them nearly to their final destination. They would get into shuttle buses in Kansas City, with network personnel and the other models, and take a long ride to their ultimate destination.

***'***

Bailey threw another bale of hay into the truck and wiped her brow. She'd been at this for hours now; loading the truck with feed, driving out to the fields and laying it out for the cattle, and driving back to start all over again. It was a tedious back-breaking task tossing around these massive hay bales, but it was one her father was currently not able to do and so she had taken it up to spare her mother and little sisters the intensive work. She was just glad this only needed to be done every other week or so. The hay was a treat, a supplement to the usual grazing, and so the cows didn't get or need it often which means she didn't have to do this particular job very much. Still it was hard labor, like most of her father's other responsibilities, and it was exhausting.

She'd come back to the farm a year ago after a tornado had ravaged Kettlecorn and the surrounding area. All over the county fences had been downed, barns crushed, houses damaged, crops destroyed and herd beasts killed. It had been devastating for every farmer out here, but it seemed the Picketts had been hardest hit.

Their house had been completely torn apart, an unfortunate consequence of being in the immediate path of the storm. Their barn roof had been ripped away. Half their herd had broken their corral and run right into their deaths. Their crops had been decimated. Much of their equipment had been broken by debris…It was a wonder the family had come up from the storm cellar alive, looked at the mess, and found the heart to start fixing things. They'd called Bailey as soon as they'd been able (telephone lines had also been downed) and she'd come rushing home, abandoning her semester at sea, the glorious opportunities it presented, and her now ex-boyfriend to get her family back on its feet again.

They thanked their lucky stars for the generous insurance policy they'd had on all their property, without which they'd have been completely helpless to do anything but starve. They used the insurance money to pay for all the building materials they'd needed to fix their buildings and erect new fences around their property, taking the opportunity to enlarge their home from the modest homestead it had once been, and to get new livestock to replace the ten dozen they'd lost to the storm. They'd spent weeks living in the storm cellar while Bailey and her father had repaired the barn roof, then they'd lived in the barn while their new house was built.

It had taken the better part of the year to get things back to normal and Bailey had just begun to hope that she might go back to the ship when her father had won a broken leg helping Mr. Weevil geld a stallion. The horse had taken exception to the process and kicked out at just the wrong time catching Bailey's father right in the thigh and snapping the leg like a twig. Her father had declined to sue, as Mr. Weevil might have done in his place, saying that it was his own fool fault for being back there in the first place (and proving to Bailey that her father really is the bigger man because, if he'd been so inclined, that would have been the perfect opportunity to get the Weevils back for suing them for slipping on their property). And so Bailey had taken up in her father's place and assumed his responsibilities on the farm while he took on smaller tasks and healed up.

She briefly wished that one of her older sisters' families, or at the very least one of her brothers-in-law, would come out to help so she didn't have to do all the hardest work alone but knew they were all taking care of their own farms and families and couldn't spare the time or man-power. With a heavy sigh Bailey went back to her task, happy to see the truck nearly full of the last load, just two more bales and she could finish this up. She loaded them quickly, grunting with the effort of lifting the final bale into place, and then she climbed into the cab of the truck and drove off to the field to unload.

Emptying the truck took much less time than loading it had. All she had to do was cut the ties on the bale and shove it off the back of the truck, letting the hay break apart as it landed so the cows could get at it more easily. She'd dump one bale, drive a little way off and dump the next, spreading out the load so there was no pushing or shoving to reach the hay and every cow got some. As she did this she let her eyes drift over the herd, doing a head count and making sure there were no limps or sores to be seen among the cattle. Once she emptied the truck and was satisfied with the continuing health of the herd she drove back to the house to clean out the bed of the truck.

She'd just climbed into the back with a broom when her youngest little sister, Chris, came looking for her.

"Bailey," the nine year old said, "Momma says you gotta check out the fence on the north field. She said Mr. Weevil called and told her one of our cows was on his property and if we don't fix that fence he'll sue us again."

"Curmudgeon." Bailey said to herself, then aloud to her sister, "Alright, I'll get the stuff to fix the fence." Bailey slid to the ground and looked at her sister, "Will you sweep this out while I do that?"

Instead of answering Chris awkwardly clambered into the truck bed, took the broom out of her sister's hands, and started sweeping with a vengeance while making those silly sounds always heard in martial arts movies and pretending the broom was a weapon. Bailey grinned, Chris was enjoying herself and the truck would be spotless by the time she got back.

Grabbing the barbed wire, winches, and tool box from the shed didn't take very long. An eight minute drive brought her to the fence in question, the one separating the Pickett property from the Weevil's, and she carefully began to examine each pole and wire, getting out to test portions for loose bits to make sure she wouldn't have to come out again in a week . She continued on down the line until she found the part that must have let the cow out. One of the poles was on the ground and had dragged the barbed wire down making a space for the cattle to pass through. She could see where it had broken off, and what she saw did not make her happy. It looked as if someone had been at it with a hatchet. She was going to have to sink a new pole before she could fix this mess.

Heaving another heavy sigh she swung herself into the cab of the truck and turned around to get more supplies. It was then that she noticed the cloud of dust headed towards the house, as if several vehicles were coming down the drive at once. "Now what on earth…" she muttered and drove a little faster.

***'***

When Bailey arrived at the house there was pandemonium, dozens of people she'd never seen before were running around with video cameras and clip boards and it was very worrying. Her mother was standing on the porch looking harassed as she spoke with a woman in an outfit closely resembling a peacock's plumage and a camera man caught it all on film. Her little sisters were on the porch swing watching the entire hubbub with interest and Porkers stretched across their laps. Her father stood by on his crutches, which he wasn't supposed to be using just yet Bailey noted with annoyance, nodding and signing papers as a man in a severe grey suit pointed to different parts of what appeared to be a contract.

"Pappy!" Bailey called, slamming the door to the truck closed and rushing over, "what is going on?"

"Bales," her father looked up and acknowledged her then went back to signing the papers as the man continued murmuring to him.

Bailey pursed her lips in annoyance and turned to her mother, "Momma?"

With a note of exasperation usually reserved for when the girls had done something they weren't supposed to her mother answered, "Your father has apparently signed us up to host some reality show-"

The woman dressed like a peacock interrupted, "Grits and Glamour! It's all about models working on a farm and looking fabulous!"

Bailey felt her eyebrows start to climb up her forehead and turned away from the woman before she said something she'd regret. But she had to ask, "Isn't that basically what that Paris Hilton reality show was a few years ago?"

The woman waved that away, "Of course not! That was just Paris and Nicole. This has several of our agency's top young female models, planned events, and a lot more merchandising opportunities! Plus it has the added value of big city girls in the small town and learning farm work. It'll appeal to a much wider demographic, trust me."

Bailey would rather slap her, but she smiled tightly and turned her gaze to her father. He must have felt her eyes on him because he looked up, grinned, shrugged, and said, "We're getting a pretty penny out of this too, Bales. Getting the Pickett name out there will be good for business and we're getting paid up front for signing the contract. Should be enough to pay for the last of our new equipment and maybe even get a girlfriend for that pig of yours."

Bailey gasped, "Porkers can find his own dates!" Porkers squealed loudly in agreement drawing everyone's attention. Bailey chuckled, the irritation she'd felt building subsided. Porkers always knew just what to do to make her feel better.

Sure she didn't like the farm being invaded by these show business folk, but she shouldn't discount it out of hand. Her father might be right about it being good for business, having a show filming here would definitely get the Pickett name out there, and taking a percentage of any merchandise sold would definitely get them some extra revenue. Heck, it might even finally put Kettlecorn on the map! Any map!

"Bailey?" a softly accented voice called from behind.

Bailey knew that voice, she heard it at least once a week over the phone. "Jess?" but she couldn't be here in person, could she? She was supposed to be in the states, but here? Now? There was no way…Bailey turned around.

She saw two identical girls, tall, blonde, and smiling at her. "Jess!" In an instant she had bound off the porch and grabbed one of the girls in a bear hug, lifting her feet off the ground and laughing, while the other stood by smiling.

"How can you always tell us apart?" Janice asked as Bailey finally put Jessica back on the ground.

Bailey shrugged and gave Janice a much less exuberant hug, "It's a gift." She turned her attention back to Jessica, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I didn't know," Jessica said. She mock glared at her twin, "Jan never said we'd be coming here."

Janice shrugged and mentally congratulated herself for a reunion well made. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise for either of you." She grinned at them both, "Besides, it was loads more fun for me this way. You should have seen the look on Jess' face when she saw the Kettlecorn sign, Bailey. You'd have been in stitches!"

Jessica playfully reached out and smacked Janice's shoulder, "Beast."

Janice shrugged again, "I'll not deny it," she said striking a pose with her hand over her heart, "I am proud of my beastliness."

Jessica rolled her eyes, Bailey laughed, and Janice lost her pose when she started giggling.

***'***

The producer, the woman in the peacock clothing, one Sylvia de Laude, looked between the three of them. She noticed some interesting things, and knew the cameraman to her right was getting this all on film so she'd be able to study this later. But her observations now had her seeing a certain dynamic happening between Jessica and the farm girl and an idea began to form.

She'd noted the differences in the hugs between the girls. How the farm girl, Bailey, had held onto Jessica and how brief the exchange with Janice had been. She saw how closely the model stood to the girl, and how her twin kept her distance. Very interesting, indeed.

She could already see how she'd edit this footage. If what she was seeing from Jessica's body language was actually what was going on then she'd be sitting on a gold mine. The show would appeal to a much wider audience than even _she_ had thought. And even if that's _not_ what was going on…well, that's what she was going to make it look like! Who'd have thought an international model would be attracted to some small town hick? Or that they'd both be women? All the potential! She could practically see the money pouring in when their ratings skyrocketed.

***'***

"You three know each other, Bailey?" Her mother asked stepping down off the porch.

"Momma, this is Jessica," Bailey said gesturing to the named twin, "And this is her sister Janice. We met while I was still on the S.S. Tipton."

"So you're the one we had to get long distance for," Mrs. Pickett said in a teasing voice while Bailey blushed, "Well, at least Bales has good taste in friends. You never said she was a model."

"Didn't I?" Bailey said, scratching the back of her head and muttering, "I could have sworn…"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Pickett." Jessica broke in to rescue Bailey from the awkwardness and extended one hand to shake while the other settled on Bailey's shoulder to silence her.

"Yes, a pleasure." Janice echoed, smiling to see Jess so familiar with Bailey already. Perhaps it'll be easier to get these two together than I thought, she mused.

"Well," the peacock woman interrupted, "I'm Sylvia de Laude, on-site producer, and I hate to interrupt your…reunion, but we've got to finish setting up and find the girls a place to sleep."

"We could put them in the loft," Bailey suggested looking between her parents and Miss de Laude for approval, "for now. I mean, there's plenty of room up there. Just string up sheets for privacy and you're good to go. Saves everyone from setting up tents and the hay makes a pretty good mattress."

"Perfect!" Sylvia exclaimed, "Take me to it and we'll set things up."

Bailey took them into the barn, pointed them in the direction of the ladder into the loft, and then turned to go.

"Where are you going?" Sylvia's voice stopped her, "Won't you show us around?"

"Can't. I've got to fix the fence tonight before any of the cows get into Weevil's yard again. Robin'll show you around, I'm sure. She's my oldest little sister, the one with the braid down to her hips and the purple fingernails." She was just about out the door when another voice stopped her.

"Can I help?" Jessica asked, not wanting to let Bailey out of her sight so soon after reuniting and all too happy to abandon Janice and the other models to Sylvia's attentions.

Bailey grinned at her, "Can you use a shovel?"

"I expect I can learn," Jessica replied dryly.

Bailey laughed, "Fair enough. Come on, then."

Behind the girls' backs Sylvia made a gesture for one of the cameramen to follow the girls then turned back to her own task.

Bailey gathered the shovels, cement, and a spare fence post (this last Jessica helped her lift into the truck) then climbed into the cab. Jessica climbed in on the passenger side and was about to close the door when the cameraman appeared in it.

"Sorry, ladies. I've gotta job to do, too. Boy, it's gonna be a tight fit with all three of us in here," he grinned at them.

Jessica slid to the center of the truck's bench-like seat, getting as close to Bailey and as far from the cameraman as she could. "Sorry about this," she murmured into Bailey's ear.

Bailey suppressed a shiver, "No big deal. We get stinky him on the way out there and he gets stinky us on the way back. Besides, I don't mind your company."

The cameraman had caught Bailey's reply on film and knew Sylvia would be pleased. He'd worked with her for years and knew how her mind worked. He'd picked up on the same thing between these two as she had and knew Sylvia was going to spin the hell out of it in the editing room.

"So," Bailey said looking around Jessica and inadvertently into the lens of the camera, "what's your name, cameraman?"

"James, but we're not really supposed to interact with you girls. Just pretend like I'm not even here."

Yeah, right. Bailey started the truck and they were on their way.

***'***

Four hours of digging, two bags of quick dry cement, and a lot of elbow grease later saw the new post in the ground and festooned in barbed wire stretching the gap and completing the fence once more.

It had gone much better than Bailey had expected. Jessica had proven far more useful with a shovel than either of them could have guessed and Bailey was actually glad to have had the help managing the placement of the heavy fence post. She and Jessica wrestled the old post and its freshly dug-out base into the back of the truck and took a moment to sit on the tailgate sipping from the water bottle Bailey had thought to bring.

"Well," Jess said, panting a little and wiping at the sweat and dirt on her neck, "That was rather a lot of work."

Bailey grinned at her, "That? That was nothing. After the tornado last year we had to put in an entirely new fence all the way around the property. Took us nearly three weeks with the help of a backhoe. Still, you did a good job here, Jess. I had no idea you'd be so useful with a shovel. Remind me to send you Momma's way when she's ready to plant her herb garden."

Jessica laughed, "More shovel work? Hooray." She drew her legs up and settled her arms around her knees, "What else is it you do around here?"

"Other than dig big holes?" Bailey asked, her eyes sparkling at Jessica in a way that made the breath catch in her throat.

Jessica smiled and rolled her eyes a little, "Yes, other than digging bloody big holes."

"Well, there are the cattle to look after. We have to check the herd every day to make sure none of them have hurt themselves and that coyotes haven't gotten at them. I just put out the hay for them today so we won't need to do that for another two weeks. And we've got a small herd of dairy cows separate from the rest that have to be milked every morning," Bailey thought a little, "There's the chickens to feed and gather eggs from. The corn fields need to be watered and checked over for parasites and rot. Horses to be exercised, rubbed down, and I'm pretty sure one of them needs to be re-shod. And Porkers always needs looking after, he's always getting himself in trouble for one thing or another. Just the other day he was eating Momma's roses, he likes them because they're sweet. She always threatens to turn him into a football, but she loves him just as much as I do."

"Porkers is your pet pig, right?" Jessica asked, "The one you rescued from the food market on Parrot Island?"

"Yep. Best pig I've ever met. He's just like a dog sometimes." Bailey grinned mischievously, "Only a whole lot smarter."

"Yes, you told me about the time he learned how to open the refrigerator to get at your sister's birthday cake."

Bailey laughed remembering that story. "Momma was so upset, but Robin thought it was the funniest thing. She took a picture of him all covered in frosting and put it up in her room. She still giggles every time she looks at it. I'll show it to you sometime."

"I'd like that," Jess said, then added, "we should probably head back now." She may have said it but she was reluctant to return to the house, with all those people. It had been rather nice having this time alone with Bailey, even if they had spent the majority of it working instead of speaking. It was nice just being near her. Seeing Bailey working so hard, working up a sweat, discarding a jacket to expose a tight fitting tank-top, watching her muscles move under skin, knowing it was other hard work which had made those muscles…all of it had gotten Jessica a little hot under the collar in a way not entirely related to the labor she'd been doing at the time, she was just grateful the work provided an excuse for her flushed face and dry mouth.

"I guess you're right," Bailey replied sliding off the tailgate, "I'm sure your producer will want to have a talk with everyone, set up some ground rules or something." She sighed, "Come on then." Bailey reached a hand out and steadied Jessica as she hopped off the back and stumbled a bit, "You alright?"

Jess fanned herself, "I think it's the heat and maybe a little dehydration. I'm not used to all this manual labor stuff. Put me in a pose and tell me to hold it for four hours under burning lights, that I can do no problem, but tell me to sweat out eighty percent of my water content and I get a little faint." She rolled her eyes and chuckled a little self-deprecatingly hoping to dispel Bailey's furrowed brow with a little joke. She continued in a mock mournful tone, "Not to mention all this dirt clogging my pores. A mud facial this was not."

Bailey did crack a smile, but ushered Jessica into the cab of the truck all the same barely noticing James climbing in the other side and keeping the camera trained on them. "I should have been more careful of your delicate system," Bailey teased, "Here, have some more water. You can shower and rest when we get back."

"Good, I'll need both."

Though it was only a short drive back to the house Jess managed to fall asleep with the closed water bottle in her lap and her head on Bailey's shoulder.

James had got it all on film, right down to the soft look Bailey gave Jessica just before waking her and helping her out of the cab. Taping this show was going to be a lot more interesting than he'd thought and it was going to be huge. He could feel it.

*****'*****

A/N: For visual reference I have cast Meighan Desmond as 'Sylvia' (she's a Kiwi and keeps that lovely accent) and 'James' is Jason Mewes. Mrs. Pickett was played by Ginette Rhodes in episode one of SLOD and she'll remain (however, I've decided her first name is Mary and she's 46 years old). Adam Baldwin is Mr. Pickett (who I've named Wallace and aged to 49). I have also named, given ages, and cast Bailey's sisters. The ones that appear here are her three younger sisters Robin (14, Abigail Breslin), Taylor (10, Tatum McCann), and Chris (9, Thora Birch as she was in 'Hocus Pocus'). So, leave a review.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Now remember, in my head Robin is played by Abigail Breslin, Sylvia is Meighan Desmond, Wallace Pickett is Adam Baldwin, and Mrs Pickett is Ginette Rhodes, and James the cameraman is Jason Mewes. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that in author's notes past, but it never hurts to reiterate. Just keep them in mind while reading.

**Disclaimer:** Just for good measure, I don't own any of the actors I've mentioned above, nor the original SL cast. But they're in my sandbox and I'm playing with them.

*****'*****

**GRITS AND GLAMOUR - CHAPTER 3**

Jessica woke to the sound of a rooster crowing. It had startled her out of a peaceful dream where she'd been laughing in a field of flowers.

Now she was groaning weakly into a pile of hay as she tried to roll over and was reminded of all the work she'd done yesterday by muscles turned stiff and aching. Her eyes still closed and groaning more loudly she managed to flop onto her back with her limbs splayed. She wondered, briefly, if she'd be allowed to have a lie in and just stay there and wallow for the rest of the day. Given Sylvia de Laude's enthusiasm for this project, she rather doubted it.

"That's about how I thought you'd feel."

Jessica's eyes snapped open and sought out the source of the voice in the pre-dawn light filtering into the loft. "Bailey?"

"Yeah, it's me," Bailey stepped closer and knelt down so Jessica could see her. "I brought you something." She lifted and waved a jar of something back and forth through the air.

Jessica would have reached out to take it but found lifting her arm to be too much effort. "What is it?"

Bailey unscrewed the top and a pungent minty odor wafted immediately to Jessica's nose. "It's a special muscle liniment Momma mixes up in the basement. Good for all the aches and pains we get workin' around here. Has the Pickett family seal of approval."

"It sounds lovely," Jessica replied, "Only I can't move to use it."

Bailey actually chuckled a little, "Well, that's what friends are for, isn't it? We've just got to get your shirt off and lay you on your belly, and then I'll fix you right up."

Jessica whimpered at the thought of moving even the little bit it would require to get relief, but she reached out anyway and allowed Bailey to help her sit up with a grunt. She struggled with her top, tangling her fingers in the fabric and getting it twisted around inadvertently trapping herself in the long shirt. Before Jessica could get too frustrated Bailey reached in and with a few swift moves had freed Jessica from the tangled fabric leaving her in a bra and the shorts she'd slept in.

Jessica realized suddenly that she was nearly half-naked in front of her crush, who had just undressed her and was about to rub her back. She wasn't shy about her body, she was a model after all, but this is _Bailey_. Jessica had never been so exposed in front of Bailey, and being in this state now was making her a little nervous…and a little curious about what Bailey thought, but the other girl's face was unreadable in the pre-dawn light. Even so, she had to force down an instinctive blush thinking of all the situations she'd prefer to be the reason for her state of undress. To take her mind off her decidedly non-friendly she said, "You're awfully good at that. Undress others often?"

She watched Bailey's head dip briefly, in embarrassment or humor she couldn't tell, then look up and smile, "When my sisters were little they needed help. I guess some skills just stay with a person." Bailey nudged Jessica's shoulder and wiggled her fingers, "Now lay down, I've got work to do."

She painfully turned around and spread herself along the floor, the hay making for a soft if slightly itchy pad. She felt Bailey move closer and her fingers ghost up the skin of her back until they snagged on the bra hooks.

"I'm going to unhook this, okay?" Bailey said quietly, tentatively, with a peculiar catch in her voice.

Jessica couldn't see Bailey, but she could feel every move the other girl made. She felt Bailey hold still, knowing she was waiting for Jessica's reply, so she nodded her head and said, "Yeah, sure."

Bailey's hands barely brushed her skin as she released the clasp and carefully slid the straps down Jessica's arms to get them out of the way and letting them rest partway down.

She heard Bailey move and felt when the other girl settled over her, straddling her to get better positioning. "Now, a little of this stuff goes a long way so if you need to use it again you shouldn't have to use much."

Jessica nodded again, knowing Bailey could see her a lot better than she could see Bailey. She heard a soft squelching as Bailey dipped into the ointment jar and lifted some out. Then a blissful feeling of cold fire raced across her stiff shoulders, rising in the wake of Bailey's moving hands. Bailey coated her back and then began her massage in earnest, fingers digging deeply into Jessica's muscles and rubbing away the aches and pains.

She couldn't stop a loud moan from escaping, "Oh, Bailey. That's heavenly. Feel free to never stop."

Bailey chuckled a little and kept right on going, drawing forth more pleased sounds from the British model. Her hands began at Jessica's neck and shoulders working down the length of Jessica's back, wrapping briefly around her sides to smooth out more tense muscles and using her thumbs to press all along her spine right down to the base, then running them all the way back up to her shoulders once more.

***'***

Bailey was in the middle of doing a third pass over a half-asleep and still softly moaning Jessica when Janice peered curiously around a couple of bales of hay arranged for privacy to see what all the fuss was about. Janice immediately took in the situation and nearly laughed. Here Jessica was with Bailey's hands all over her and she was falling asleep!

"Good morning, ladies," Janice said brightly, obviously startling Bailey and waking Jessica.

She watched amused as Jessica went to sit up and realized her bra was dangling off her shoulders and Bailey was still sitting on her rump. Bailey realized the situation at the same time and swung one of her legs back around so she no longer pinned Jessica while her hands, in a move that rather impressed Janice, swept Jessica's bra straps in place and hooked the garment closed again murmuring an apology for trapping her in the first place.

Jessica was finally able to sit up and stretch. Twisting this way and that, releasing appreciative hums, she said, "Oh that feels amazing. You're a godsend Bailey Pickett. You and those magical fingers of yours."

"Nah," Bailey deflected, pushing her hair behind her ears and blushing, "Momma's mix did all the hard work. I just pushed it around a bit."

"Well," Jessica said catching Bailey's hands and squeezing them, "Thank you. I feel much better."

Janice watched their byplay, noticing the way that Bailey seemed to search Jessica's face and lick her lips before replying, "Sure. Anytime." She cleared her throat to remind them of her presence and nearly laughed when they startled, Bailey rushing off muttering something about chickens and Jessica finally remembering to put her shirt on.

She turned amused eyes to her sister, "What's this all about then?"

Jessica turned to her sister, "Hm?"

"You," Janice said, rolling her eyes. She pointed at her sister, then pointed in the direction of the ladder Bailey had fled down, and back to her sister, "Shirtless. Bailey's hands. All over you. Care to explain?"

"Oh," Jessica said. "I was sore from yesterday. Bailey brought me this," she picked up the now sealed jar of ointment and held it, "and gave me a massage so I wouldn't be anymore."

Janice felt her right eyebrow tilt upwards and a smirk begin. "So let me get this straight," Janice began in an amused tone, "Bailey, the girl you like, just had her hands all over your bare back," she paused a moment to let that sink in, "and you were falling asleep?"

She watched her sister's face turn a brilliant shade of pink before covering her face with her hands, groaning, and falling backwards. Janice laughed. "Well, come on then, Miss Oblivious," Janice reached down to pull her sister up, "Time to start our day. I'm sure Sylvia has something planned for us."

***'***

James sat in the tricked out van with the video editing equipment an expression of stunned elation on his face as he reviewed the footage just caught from the hayloft. Sylvia had been right. There was totally something going on between the farm girl and that British model and this footage more than proves it!

It was going to be so easy to spin this footage, and the audio, into something tantalizing for the networks execs and for the audience.

James leaned back in his seat feeling giddy. Finally he was working on a project that would be interesting!

He loved his job.

***'***

Robin sat on the porch, with Porkers beside her, watching as Sylvia de Laude flittered between the crew vans where cameras were being signed out to their handlers and the groggy models slowly grouping up with Bailey in front of the barn. She'd seen Sylvia in conference with one of her cameramen a little while ago, their conversation had made Sylvia excited and the woman had been practically bouncing with energy since then. Robin wondered what sort of news Sylvia could have gotten from the scruffy looking man that had been so good, but before she could come to any conclusions or try to eavesdrop on the adults the farm had started to come to life and Sylvia had split from the man to rouse the models.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, its light catching the rhinestones on Sylvia's extremely colorful outfit twinkle as she twirled around and made expansive arm gestures. Robin laid a hand between Porker's ears and scratched, distracting him from the sparkling display.

"Alright, ladies," Sylvia said when all her people had assembled, her accented voice pitched at a piercing note sure to clear away any lingering haze of sleep from everyone's minds, "Today begins the first day of you really starting to learn things out here! Isn't that exciting?"

There were muted mutterings of assent from those assembled. Robin stifled a giggle as she saw the twin models simultaneously roll their eyes and cross their arms.

Undeterred by the less than enthusiastic response, Sylvia briskly clapped her hands and continued, "We're going to split you up into two groups. One set of you will be learning how to properly milk cows from Bailey here, while the rest of you will be helping Robin collect eggs from the chickens."

Robin perked up, rising from her seat and moving towards the group with Porkers hot on her heels. She hadn't known she'd be included in all of this mess, but she was willing enough to share her work around. She shyly waved at the taller, older, incredibly pretty models and felt every inch of her fourteen year old awkwardness. She really hoped she didn't make a fool of herself in front of any of them, especially not with the cameras rolling. She didn't need her gawky uncoordinated self doing something stupid broadcast on national television. Being a teenager was hard enough without your every embarrassing moment caught on film for the whole world to see. She was very conscious of how she moved, striving not to trip. She didn't need to walk…well, like a model, she just needed to keep from landing face first in the dust.

When she reached Bailey's side she felt her big sister sling a companionable arm around her shoulders and leaned into the reassuring contact. She'd made it without tripping, it was a good morning. She saw her father lurch his way into a chair on the covered porch and prop up his broken leg on a small stool.

"Now, I'm going to assign your groups." Sylvia said, flicking a neon pink feather covered pen at the girls and readying herself to write on the clipboard which suddenly appeared in her hands, "This will be how you'll be split up for all future activities unless otherwise specified, so remember your groups. I'm going to count you off in ones and twos. Ones with Bailey, twos with Robin." She began counting the girls off, pointing with her feather pen and gesturing them towards one Pickett girl or the other. The models cooperated and allowed themselves to be split; Robin noticed that even the twins, who ended up in separate groups, complied with the divisions. "Okay, now, remember these groups. You will be doing all future group activities with these people. I believe you all have work to do, so shoo! Go, go."

Sylvia made shooing motions with her hands, flapping them at the wrists to herd the models and the Pickett girls towards their tasks. Unfortunately one of those motions caused her pen to fly out of her grasp and land point down in the dirt. Before she could pick it up Porkers had rushed across the distance to steal it and run off.

The models laughed right along with Bailey and Robin as Sylvia took off after Porkers, who was swishing his head to make the feathers on the pen shake as he ran. Robin noticed one of the cameramen following Sylvia as she charged after Porkers but the remaining cameramen, including the one who'd been talking with Sylvia earlier, stayed with them. She felt obligated to ask, "Should we help her?"

Bailey looked back at the models and Robin followed her line of sight to the twins discretely shaking their heads, "Nah. Porkers will get bored eventually; she can get her pen back when he drops it. We," she lightly squeezed Robin's shoulder, "have chores to do and people to teach them to."

Robin nodded and slipped out from under Bailey's arm, "Group two with me. This way to the chicken coops." She walked in the direction of the coops, kept a short distance from the side of the house. "I hope none of you mind feathers in your hair. The chickens can get kind of rowdy with new people."

She heard Bailey say behind her, "And this way, group one, to the dairy barn. You all are in for a treat. We don't have one of those automatic milking machines so you lucky folk get to learn how to do this by hand!" Robin could practically feel the grin in Bailey's voice.

They all heard the frustrated call of Sylvia de Laude, "Get back here you poor excuse for a football! That's my favorite pen!"

***'***

Wallace Pickett, otherwise known as Pappy, leaned back in his rocking chair and chuckled. He had always liked that pig. He waggled his fingers at his daughters when he caught them glancing at him as they trudged towards their respective chores and smiled a huge smile while he watched Porkers cavort around the yard with a huffing Sylvia and a puffing cameraman doggedly following him.

When he'd broken his leg he'd been sure he'd be going stir crazy from having to sit still, but it wasn't so bad sitting peacefully while everyone else got to work. He could get used to this.

"I don't know how I'm going to make this work," he heard the distinct voice of his wife drift into his ears as she made her way onto the porch beside him.

"Make what work, darlin'?"

"Meals," she said, clearly not impressed, "Miss de Laude informed me that none of her crew can feed itself and neither can her models, so I have to start making meals for her thirty some-odd people and our family. I'm going to be spending all day in the kitchen! I'll never get anything done!" She was about to lament a little more when Porkers went streaking by, "And what is that pig doing with a mouthful of pink feathers?"

Sylvia was still dragging herself after the pig, the flouncy fabric of her outfit sticking to her and crawling along the ground and her hair in a wild mass expanding out from her head in all directions, but she had lost the breath to call after him. Wallace nearly laughed aloud when the chunky cameraman came plodding along even more slowly than Sylvia. "She dropped her pen," he explained. "Porkers is helping," he said with a straight face.

His wife eyed him up. "Speaking of helping-"

"You know I would sweetheart," he hastily defended himself, "But I'm plum useless with this bum leg."

"Ah, but honeybunch," she grinned at him in that sweet manner that always spelled trouble for the person on the other end of it, "your hands work just fine and they're all I need." She disappeared into the house for a moment and came out carrying a monster bucket of potatoes which she plunked down beside him. She went back into the house and came out with two more buckets and a peeler. "Make yourself useful, dear," she commanded as she handed him the utensil.

"Aw, but Mary, I was going to enjoy my convalescence!"

"And now you're going to enjoy helping your wife." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "When you're done with those I've got carrots and onions that'll be needing your attention."

He sighed. At least he'd still get to watch Porkers making sport of the city folk while he worked.

***'***

Bailey looked over her group of helpers, glad to have Jessica as a friendly face in the crowd.

"Alright, so, you all understand what to do right? We open these gates and the cows walk into the stalls. They want to be milked but they'll kick if they can, so remember to tie the back legs together with the leather thongs in each stall. Make sure everything is nice and clean before you set the bucket down. Then just get the bucket between your knees and under the udders and use the technique I showed you with the glove, squeeze but do not pull! Make sure to take a sample first so I can check for mastitis. I'll be walking around to keep an eye on everything. Got it?"

She watched the four she'd picked out to go first take their stools, Jessica among them, and opened the gates which would let the cattle funnel in. The models followed the instructions they'd been given and bent to their task. They carefully cleaned the side of the cows they were working on and the udders, drying the udders and their hands with paper towels to prevent the spread of bacteria. Hygiene was very important for quality milk, so Bailey made sure all of this was done right so they didn't spoil anything.

Each took a sample into the dark containers she'd handed out and waited for her to check them and the teats of each cow, lecturing the whole time about proper health care for milking cows, before hesitantly beginning the milking process. Of course there were missteps; models that simply couldn't get the hang of the technique, or cramped up from being positioned mostly under the cow to milk them, and even those that accidentally knocked their buckets over after filling them, but on the whole they did very well.

"What do I do when the bucket is full?" Jessica asked, leaning back with a filled bucket in her hands.

Bailey felt her eyebrows shoot up. A full bucket from one cow almost never happened, much less getting a full bucket from an amateur farm hand. Usually there was poor technique, poor aim, and fidgeting preventing a full bucket from being drawn but somehow Jessica had managed it. "Wow," she said, "Uh, full buckets get poured into this bulk tank," she indicated a large tank set up against one wall, "just pop it open here and dump it in."

"Does this milk get treated in that?" a darkly tanned girl asked.

"It gets chilled but it doesn't need to be treated for anything," Bailey replied, "Milk from healthy cows is pretty safe for people to drink. It's how milk used to be drunk before mass production demanded the homogenization and pasteurization processes. It's also safe to use in making cheeses, butter, yogurt and heavy cream. Want to try it? It's best fresh."

Another one asked, "What's the hemmo-hamo-genation…that thing you said?"

"The homogenization process? It's just a technique to treat milk to keep the cream from separating," Bailey explained, "We put it in this tank to chill it so it'll keep longer and so the cream does separate so we can take it out to make whipped cream, butter, sour cream, ice cream, and half and half. Pasteurization is a heating and cooling process that kills microorganisms in the milk that can be harmful to humans, mostly because the average digestive system can't handle how rich the milk is. The two processes together are what make sure that one gallon of milk in the super market is just like any other gallon and safe for mass consumption. The fresh milk here might give you diarrhea, but it's not going to kill you…Well, not unless you're allergic to milk, in which case you'll need to inform me immediately so we can get some soy milk or something because we generally just drink this stuff with every meal. So, are there any takers on giving it a taste straight from the bucket?"

Bailey's eyes scanned over the milling models, each avoiding Bailey's eyes. She grinned; she hadn't expected any of them to take her up on the offer. Unless you grew up on a farm you typically forgot that milk actually came from cows, and so seeing them get milked and then being offered the immediate product tended to put a person off. "Alright, well, we've got-"

"I'll try it," Bailey nearly beamed when she heard Jessica's voice. The model was obviously unsure about whether she really wanted to try it, but she was putting on a brave face and stepping forward so Bailey dipped a cup in a bucket and proffered it to the nervous Brit. Jessica gently brought the cup to her lips and tipped it, taking a healthy sip. "My goodness, that's thick! Rich," she said in surprise, "Doesn't really taste like milk from the market, does it? It's a bit odd having it warm. But it's quite good."

When Jessica smiled, pleased with herself, Bailey smiled back. She was proud of her friend for being brave enough to try this when no one else would. "It is good. Anyone else want to try it?" When there were no takers Bailey shrugged and tipped the rest of the bucket into the bulk tank. "Okay, then. We've got another twenty-eight cows to milk so let's get back to work. Thos who've already milked a cow switch places with someone who hasn't. You'll all have to learn, best learn now. We're going to have to do this all again just before sunset and the faster you learn the faster we'll be finished."

***'***

Robin stomped onto the porch covered in egg yolk and feathers, carrying a basket of eggs, and ready to spit fire. The models who'd been in her charge sheepishly huddled in the dirt driveway, similarly covered in muck.

Wallace looked up from where he was finishing peeling his thirty-fourth potato to take in his daughter, "Whoa there, little bird. What happened to you?"

Robin glowered at her father and said through gritted teeth, "I don't want to talk about it."

In the distance they both heard a plaintive cry, "Just stop! Please, piggy! I just want my pen back!"

*****'*****

**A/N:** I've decided that the unfortunate unnamed cameraman chasing after Porkers and Sylvia will be Drew Carey. So, another chapter down, what do you think?


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